You have been warned, a rant awaits you.
It just really burns me up when people ask, why do you write such angsty stuff? About death and all that? Or dismiss it as, oh there goes another wannabe morbid-goth-attention seeker. Or 'stupid little vignettes about someone's past life don't impress me.'
Let me ask you, do you think about death? How often? Do you even think at all?!
One thing most people ignore in the interest of happiness is that death is inevitable. Say that the universe is fifteen billion years old and will live for another fifteen million or so, minimum. The average human lifespan is around eighty years, so you can factor that your life is approximately 1/375,000,000th the duration of all of reality. If you think about, one piddling human on earth, in the universe…not hard to realize that one life is as close to meaninglessly non-existent as possible. That’s like what, living for 6.5 seconds? I can think of people that say the entire purpose of human life is to reproduce and to pass on our genes.
"What matters our creative endless toil,
When, at a snatch, oblivion ends the coil?"
- Faust, Goethe
That's basically everything I just said. I, like most of the world, am in denial of all this (although I like to think that I look beyond the box). We prefer to think we make a difference. Go to school, uni, make friends backstab 'em, have kids, pay for their tuition, donate to charities, plant trees in hopes our screwed up world will fix itself and engage in other meaningless activities that are supposed to create the illusion of permanence that will give us something to latch on to. Not surprising, considering if you acknowledge reality, you realize it’s hugely depressing and equates to the fact that our daily activities are meaningless. We’re the proverbial farts in a hurricane, so to speak.
As much as I firmly believe in the fact that we're put here by some greater power, that we're here for a reason, sometimes the overwhelming evidence that we're not, can be a bit too much.
So look. Look, read and learn something you fuckers because we're here for how bloody long? Six seconds? Life is too short to say something, then do another and then spend time trying to figure about what you did wrong. People say that they care blahblahblah, and then they don't do anything at all. Man I hate you.
And read Camus. Read some modern existentialism, it puts your life into perspective like nothing else will.
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Anyway. Just not in the best of moods, I feel rather...Machiavellian so to speak. Absolutely crappy weather today, I felt like I was walking through treacle. Dirty treacle as well, considering the pollution levels. I found out that a new CD I just bought is defective and now I have to go down and exchange it. I got full marks on an English piece, but then I screwed up the one we did in class today because I fell asleep in the middle. I realized I cut a hole in a pair of jeans by accident when I was cutting something and they were underneath. I craved deep spring passionfruit juice but I had to make do with water instead.
I just proved how materialistic I am, didn't I?
Sorry I've not been on dA at all lately but I'm embroiled in exams now and it's going to stay like this for a while...I will be back though
Hope springs eternal. Ah good guy Alexander Pope.
I finished my 10 hour art exam, I think I did ok in that I finished in time and no one's recoiled in disgust from the end result. Well not that I've seen yet.
Anyhow, I hope all you people out there are doing well at whatever you're doing and I'll be back in two months or so. Ooh and I'm nearing 2000 pageviews. There might be an update or two if I'm lucky
[edit] Doh, my subscription expires in 5 days...time to do something about it
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...and I found those emotions
that I once let wander.
on the edge of the meadow
with a shotgun in their hands.
I was the target
we were the prize.
the coast is always changing
Gloomy
Though I'm not too sure that I'm proud of that anymore...
I promise to try to update more as well 
seeing as how I just got a new 1GB memorystick. I can now say goodbye to frantic fumbling and hide-and-seek with my camera and memorysticks.
But she's into black and white photography; she uses a manual Pentax (develops the photos herself) and now that she's unearthed my grandparents' ancient Minolta (that needs 16 mm film that is no longer made apart from for film projectors), I am fully going to try and make her join dA 
Worried
Seriously Pissed Off
* 
! I'm going to do the whole hectic thing again, where I go to Sydney, Europe and Beijing, one after the other. This means I should be able to get lots of good photos in and upload like hell.
Uh Oh
In fact, it's on the last day of school before the Easter hols so hopefully I can have some fun. I'm planning to go to the Norah Jones concert... And I think I'll buy some prints off dA 
Just kidding, she's going to be choosing her stuff. I've been put in charge, by my mum, of designing the entire house (sans my sister's bedroom), furniture, carpet, curtains and all. Excited yet worried but I'll muddle through somehow
Braindead
